So, you’re convinced that you have zero opportunities to meet men.
Are you stuck in an office all day with the same stiffs day in and day out? Have you tried singles dances, only to leave feeling worse than when you went in? Did the last loser your aunt set you up with squash your Chihuahua when he screeched up the driveway?
Well, don’t fret. I have some ideas for you. While advice columnists steer single women into churches to meet honest, loyal, and successful men, I wouldn’t dream of it. Church is great for communing with God, but it never struck me as the best place to meet a man. People, including me, are on our best behavior at church. If you’d rather meet a man where he’s more likely to be himself, here are my top three recommendations:
1. A bar, specifically during Monday Night Football. Football season is a great time to meet men who flock to taverns to watch the NFL. When I was single, I loved going to Monday Night Football (even though I didn’t really understand the game) because the bar was filled with mostly single men, there was a free buffet, and the atmosphere was merry. Advice columnists usually tell women to stay out of bars if they want to meet suitable men, but I disagree. It’s important to see how a man drinks, and how he behaves under the influence of alcohol. Does he get wasted and drive home? Or, does he have a couple of beers and switch to water before he leaves? Does he smack the bartender in the head when his team loses, or does he remain amicable? There are things you can learn in a bar about a man that you never will in church. Bring a friend with you and make having fun, not hooking up, your first priority. You may have to show up three weeks in a row before anybody shows interest in you (or, then again, maybe not). Keep in mind that different bars attract different types of people. If you don’t like the crowd in one bar, try another place next time.
2. A class. I know, I know. You’ve heard this one before, but have you ever tried it? Let me tell you a story: My friend Brian’s longtime girlfriend dropped him for another guy. After grieving for a while, he dusted himself off and signed up for a cooking class. See, Brian loves to cook, but he put off pursuing formal training while he was with What’s-Her-Name. Once she was out of the picture, though, he decided to register for a course, figuring he’d meet many like-minded women there. Sure enough, he did. I advise you to write down a list of hobbies you’d like to explore and figure out which of them would also appeal to men. Then sign up for a class or join a club. See what happens.
3. Throw a party. While Brian did meet lots of women at the cooking class, he didn’t fall in love with any of them. So he threw a party where he could show off his new skills. He wasn’t picky about whom he invited and told everybody to bring a friend or two. The result? A woman he’d never met showed up. They fell in love and have been married now for two years. But even if Brian hadn’t met his future wife that night, hosting that party netted him plenty of invitations to others, providing opportunities to meet many more people. A caveat: When you plan your party, don’t exclude married friends from the guest list. You don’t want your big night to feel like a single’s mixer. Instead, invite couples and encourage them to bring a friend.
Remember, the trick to meeting new men is to break up your routine. Step one: Put down the remote. I assure you that the world is full of great single men like Brian who want to meet someone special, and for one of those men, that person is you. Seek and create new social situations. Act naturally. Smile. Whatever you do, don’t keep twisting your neck like you’re casing the place for a live one. Maintain eye contact with whomever you’re talking to, whether it’s a man or a woman. Having fun is key. When you’re having fun, you’ll attract men like a magnet.